The Beggar's Crumb

A Simple Conversation ......

I was listening in on a conversation last week. Yes, it is a hazard of my profession to be aware of things going on around me, and my curiosity gets the best of me sometimes. So, let this be a warning, be careful around me. I probably am listening in.
Anyways, it was at a drug store across the street from where I work. I was paying for some tissues and cold medicine. The cashier was talking to another employee, he obviously is the manager. His peer asked him how he likes his new car. The manager went on to say he loves it, a Camero I believe. Additionally, he wishes he could spend more time in the car. He does not get enough time in it. He went on to say that three or four times in response to his peer. I left the store thinking how empty that must be. Who really wants to spend more time in a car? Even if it is a really nice car, I found the passion the person expressed as empty. The only time I really look forward to being in a car is on a ride home from work. I thought of the passage from Jeremiah about empty and broken cisterns hold no water and prayed on my return to my office about my empty and broken cisterns I place high value in.
But, God is interesting sometimes with ways that He continues to lead. He was not done with pointing me to Him through that conversation I heard. A few days later in praying about this blog and what I should write for it, a new scripture came to mind.

James 4:5 “Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, "He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us"?””

God points to His Spirit craving to be with us. To be in intimate fellowship with you and I. Do I have that same craving to be with God?

I started writing this post several weeks ago. And I continue to ponder what this means. God wanting relationship with me, and why do I quickly run to other things. I was not even certain how to end this post, I was not done processing nor am I.

A few other examples came to my mind in relation to God and relationship.
One young newly wed couple in my church I see on occasion walking down the street. They are very interesting in that they seem genuinely enthralled to be with one another. You can tell outwardly in their non-verbal actions. Is that the same model God is pointing us to? That we walk hand in hand with Him totally enthralled to be with Him minute by minute. Marriage is an archetype of sorts of the relationship between God and the church. We have many examples that are in the bible, Ruth and Boaz or Hosea and Gomer, etc. There are many places that God uses the example of marriage to give us a picture of our relationship with Him.

It does not end there though. Two weeks ago I was challenged by someone to stress more on the relationship side of my walk with God. Not be as concerned about making certain to have the disciplined time of reading the bible. Not that I ignore God, but that I spend more time building personal relationship. The idea being that I have a lot of head knowledge of God, so that is not as important as the heart knowledge. So, I have been trying to be more personal again with God.
It is something that has bothered me recently that I’ve moved to more formality with Him. I think I have been keeping a distance through the use of disciplined time reading and praying versus the spontaneous time throughout the day.
So, a day or two ago I overheard a sermon on television. I was not watching it as I am not real fond of most televangelists. He was going through the need for Jesus for salvation, etc. And it struck me, He is probably preaching to people like me. People who already have heard this stuff over and over again. Not that hearing these things is bad; we all need constant reminder of them. But, it seemed lacking of relationship to me and was about knowledge.
The inclination of my heart is to pursue head knowledge of God over relationship. What should I do or anyone else with that? Are you the same way, ready to just learn but not interact?
I think that is the beauty of the two examples I provided and the passage about the Holy Spirit. The man with the car is probably going to figure out how to spend a little more time in his car, maybe take more trips. Maybe not at all, maybe it will just remain a meaningless statement to make it look like the car has value in his life.
The second is a little more of a profound example though. How often when I am on a road somewhere do I realize that God has my hand? He is walking beside me; all the while I ignore Him and think I am on my own?
I need to be like I am encouraged often to do in my men’s group. Make the bottom line prayers often. Saying, Jesus I am feeling like this or that. I am scared to death of this situation or circumstance. Or the simple, help me I don’t know what to do.

So how can this thought go full circle back to the theme of God’s jealousy of being in relationship to Him? God’s jealousy to have His Spirit in us. That is where it all starts. I need to know that fact just to be able to daily take a step of faith of learning to be more dependant on Him and less on myself. I need to know that deep love to be able to no longer keep a distance from Him. And I need that Spirit to move in my heart to be able to take the daily steps of relationship with Jesus.

The Relentless Pursuit of a Father

Matthew 9:36

“Seeing the people, He felt compassion for them, because they were distressed and dispirited like sheep without
a shepherd.”

Matthew 18:12
"What do you think? If any man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone
astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go and search for the one that is straying?”

My vision for this blog page came from something that hit me
a month or so ago.

If you do not know me, my wife and I have a three year old
son from India.
He has been with us for just over a year. He has truly blessed our home with much joy and laughter.

It has not been all fun and games however. Recently, I was challenged with some behaviors I did not appreciate. In fact, they hurt me as a Father. My son Anant would often refuse me holding him when he was upset or
wanted his mother. And at other times he would refuse a hug and kiss when I would go off to work. Yes, there are several reasons for the behavior and they were normal reactions. I just did not like it and it felt like my son was rejecting me in some way.

So I mentioned this to a small group I attend and I was
encouraged to pray about it. Yes, I know that was what they were going to tell me. I still needed the reminder. They encouraged me to throw out a bottom line prayer to my heavenly Father about what was going on and how I felt.

I received two answers to the prayer. The first was a simple quiet instruction of how to react. I heard, "pursue him." Do not let him push you away. So that is what I did, gently as I could I would hold my son in the moments he wanted to push me away or do something else. After some resistance over several days, he fussed a little less. Then he started to come to me on occasion because some of the times I would hold him became routine, like when Mom is cooking and he wants to watch. And recently, I have seen a deeper bond with my son. He is stating often he loves his Dad and enjoys doing things with him. And it all started with a simple word from my heavenly Father. My own emotional strength would have said to reject my son as he was rejecting me or let him depend on Mom entirely. But, God had those simple words, pursue him.

Where does the second answer of prayer come from? God had something else in mind. He wanted to demonstrate to me a deeper understanding of my relationship with God. Can I say that I am any different towards God than my son was towards me? Yes, I often reject God thinking something else is better.
I cry and whine for something else, rejecting God. And is God any different? He must hurt deeply when rejected by His children. He loves us deeply and cares more than I can imagine. And yet, God reacts the same way He instructed me to do with Anant- He pursues us. He pursues His sheep wandering without a shepherd.

There was nothing God would spare to pursue a relationship with His children. All throughout the bible, we see men and women, who fall, reject and turn away from God, and He pursues them and restores them.

The idea of God being in relentless pursuit of His children is not a new concept. God just used the relationship between Anant and I to make it all the more clear to me. Hopefully, in writing this it is more clear to
you.

The Beginning

Greetings!!!

Welcome to my blog. I will be exploring how the gospel weaves itself into the story of my life and others. I find day by day the truth of my relationship with Jesus pops up in surprising places.

So, this blog will be a place for me to write down my thoughts and hopefully others will write some things for me from time to time.

It is a work in progress a lot of stuff still needs to be edited.

Robert